No, I’m serious. Hahahahhahahhaha.
Okay, now let’s see here. I want to be fair for a moment, even nice, and slightly charitable. I will withhold, just for a moment, my observations about 99.9999999999999% of men I have met on this planet and pretend you are the exception. So here goes.
Radical feminists don’t insert men.
Well, that’s your problem right there. That’s where you’re supposed to put it.
Oh… wait, what?
Before we even get into the bedroom, let’s make something very clear. If you are falling head-over-heels for a woman who identifies herself as radfem, and she REALLY IS a radical feminist, we can knock off a few things right off the bat: she’s anti-porn and prostitution, she’s anti-everything you think means sex, and if she gets even the slightest WHIFF of you objectifying her OR any other woman, you will never so much as put a finger on her.
Ladies and gentlemen, please feel free to objectify me at any time. I love that shit. Shameless exhibitionist, here.
Because she has the right to determine her own destiny, and she doesn’t WANT you otherwise. She has a right to say NO to someone she doesn’t want, and she won’t want you if you conflict with the above mentioned things.
If you are still reading right now, are you cursing her name? Good. Forget it. You don’t deserve her. Stop reading and stfu none of us want you.
Still reading? Oh, you’re one of those challenge-loving tough guys, huh? Or are you THAT in love with her?
Okay, so let’s go on. Many radical feminists are hyper critical of heterosexuality.
I’m pretty sure that’s called “questioning.”
Are you a guy? Is she a gal? Cards are stacked against you. Not saying radfems are only into women. Many straight radfems are political lesbians.
Oh god, I can’t, I can’t.
Okay, okay. Phew. Okay.
That means that we choose,
As a bisexual lady: Fuck you for taking a sexuality and using it in such a manner that implies sexuality has anything to do with choice. Shame on you.
as I said before, not to insert men, no matter how cute we may think your smile is. This is because we put the well-being of ourselves and other women at a higher priority than our libido. If you’re asking how the FLIP sex could conflict with any woman’s well-being, then there are some radfem books you may want to read. I’m sorry that I cannot explain it all now, but you read this far….not my fault for being honest at this point. You wanted to know, right? You apparently are SO into her that you’re still reading. Okay then. So there it is. I do know plenty of radfems in relationships with men, so there’s that…
Still reading? Alright.
And we’re not even in the bedroom yet. In fact, you’re barely through her front door.
Now I mentioned that she is not into sex in any terms that you understand that word. Then why do I even bother with this post?
“Men have constructed female sexuality and in so doing have annihilated the chance for sexual intelligence in women. Sexual intelligence cannot live in the shallow, predestined sexuality men have counterfeited for women.
Being female in this world means having been robbed of the potential for human choice by men who love to hate us.One does does not make choices in freedom. Instead, one conforms in body type and behavior and values to become an object of male sexual desire, which requires an abandonment of a wide-ranging capacity for choice…
Have you ever wondered why we [women] are not just in armed combat against you? It’s not because there’s a shortage of kitchen knives in this country. It is because we believe in your humanity, against all the evidence.” - Andrea Dworkin
So what the heck is left when you take all THAT away?
The radfem concept of sex could best be described as a situation in which both parties leave their gender at the door. If you enter her private sphere, you leave your manhood at the door. Quite literally. This may be the most terrifying idea in the world to you. But truth be told, deep down, taking off all our clothes and laying down in a bed with a creature that could kill us if he snapped is much, much more scary.
Take off everything. Every garment. Every idea. Every expectation. Everything you know about being a man and her being a woman. She is human. You are human. You walk into that room and drop everything. You’re two bundles of electric force about to dance in the suspended bubble of existence.
A radical feminist is really a woman who has committed to believing she is a full human being. She refuses to put herself into a situation in which she must employ survival techniques to get through it. Sex is often a thing she has to survive. How can this be? You ask. How many women leave their bodies the instant a man touches them? I bet you don’t know how many. How many women, all over this planet, are grocery shopping in their heads or wondering when you’ll be done? This is called dissociation. It’s a way of leaving the body because being in it isn’t the most comfy feeling.
Having bad sex? Blame men!!
Truly, I feel a lot of these complaints could be rectified with some simple sex ed and sex therapy. I’ve been so turned on, I’ve squirted just from giving a blow job. YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG, PEOPLE.
I bet you think you know some women who like the genders in bed. One that just ruuuuuuuuuves to be dominated or made to feel like “a woman.” Let’s break this down a little. What does “being a woman” mean when in bed? It’s a kind of submission to the will of the man, especially in domination. Unless you have ever had NO OTHER OPTION but to be the recipient of the advances of another because your very BEING is defined as being a recipient (based on your anatomy and how the dominant culture interprets your anatomy) then it’s hard to understand how this effects the woman you are thinking about getting closer to. Women learn to eroticize being helpless, weak, passive creatures, with their backs all arched up and their necks falling helplessly back into your strooooong embrace.
Because cowgirl don’t real???
Because taking a man’s GENITALIA into your MOUTH doesn’t give you the most complete control over him, so that you’re paying attention to his every gasp and moan and muscle twitch elicited from the slightest movement of your tongue? — that’s not POWER, is it?
Teasing him until he’s begging you please, please, please, get on top of him, please ride him, please fuck him, and denying him over and over and then finally letting him, controlling when he gets to do what - that’s not possible? That’s not control? What a lack of creativity.
But that is NOT what a female is.
Wait, excuse me? That’s my gender, too. It’s whatever I want it to be, bitch.
That is a distortion of her.
A female is a strong human being with a magnificent and wild willpower.
What she must DO to herself to BECOME that wilting flower is to deny her true nature. She stunts herself. She binds her glorious energy into a little box called “woman” and whatever doesn’t fit, she kills off and pretends was never there.
A woman who is hell-bent on staying fully present from start to finish will not be able to revolve her world around your erection. She won’t get all eeeky squeeky sexy and flounce her pretty hair around or bat her lovely eyelashes. She also won’t pin you down and ravage you. She doesn’t see this as a POWER PLAY at all. For goodness sake, she doesn’t want war in the bedroom!
When I am into sex I mean, I am truly mindful of the moment - it’s like meditation - I’m not even thinking in words - you can be damn sure that the center of the world is whatever causing me pleasure at the time. Which is, unless we’re talking about oral sex or God’s gift to women, the Hitachi - A PENIS.
When I cum I cum like a motherfucker. I don’t care about how I look. And if you’re caring about how you look, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG. There is nothing sexier to a straight man (or girl-loving lady) than a woman cumming and losing her mind.
Don’t fucking hold back, just ENJOY IT. And yes, a penis is enjoyable. Heterosexual sex is enjoyable.
It’s not the patriarchy causing you problems, it’s just bad sex.
And you know whose fault that is?
Take some responsibility and learn about sex. Get a guy who wants to learn with you. (Hint: most of them will be totally down for this, by the way.) Learn what makes you feel good. Don’t judge about whether it’s “masculine” or “feminine.” That doesn’t matter. Then tell him to do it.
It’s that simply, really. As long as you do the same for him in equal measure.
So, what’s left? You’ve got to see her as fully human and quite literally don’t even suggest doing anything to her that you yourself wouldn’t want done to you. Anything. Anything at all.
I don’t even understand how this makes sense, anatomically speaking. I like it when my guy puts things in my butt. He doesn’t like it when I put things in his. I don’t want to put things in his butt. This is the patriarchy?
If that sounds ridiculous, you can get off the bus here. Cause what I’m suggesting is that there isn’t one concept of humanity for you and other one for her. I’m suggesting that they are one in the same.
I’ve got it going this far…it’s not done. But this little sneak peek should give you an idea of where you need to start. She can likely explain a lot of this herself, cause she’s a radical feminist as well.
What’s in it for you? Oh, damn, it always comes down to that, doesn’t it? She’s a creature living in a world that systematically abuses her, and she wants it to no longer be that way, and all you want to know is what benefit YOU are going to get from HER not suffering anymore.
Wait, wait, wait. We’re EQUALS. Men are allowed to enjoy sex. They’re allowed to have needs. They’re allowed to ask for what they want, talk about what they like, and negotiate in order to get it. If you want to get something, you had damn well be willing to give something. Otherwise, it’s not equality. It’s you demonizing a guy and bending him to your will. If you’re against that for one gender but all for it for the other - and, might I remind you, solely on the basis of their gender, this has nothing to do with the individual guy or his behavior - you are a hypocrite, because you are doing everything you claim to despise. Everything you’re supposed to be fighting against.
Well there IS a benefit. But I just wanted you to first realize how messed up it is to have that expectation. Even if there weren’t a benefit to you, you should be signing up for the course if you really love this woman, because loving someone should involve not wanting them to suffer.
Oh, give me a break. IT’S SEX. It’s no one’s fault but your own if you can’t figure out how to make your vagina function properly.
However, the benefit to you is that you, too, are entering into an experience where you are not limited by your own role as male. You get to just be. Just be. You don’t have to be the macho tough guy who knows how to pull all the right moves. You just have to respect her boundaries and all the stuff I just said up thread. Did sex ever feel like an empty, strange experience in which two people embraced until “amourousness was exhausted by the satisfaction of sensuality and we were left confronting one another in our true relation…as two egoists quite alien to each other who wished to get as much pleasure as possible from each other.” (Leo Tolstoy)
…You dare quote Tolstoy???
NOT feeling like THAT is what you get. You get to feel fully human, too, not merely a d00d.
Sometimes I want to be fucked, and sometimes I want to make love. Before my boy and I get intimate, sometimes I’ll stop him and say either “scary sex” or “nice sex.” We enjoy both equally. If you don’t, fine. You do you. But you don’t get to tell me that one is inherently “better” than the other, because trust me, babe, you’re SO wrong.
If you’ve been totally put off by all this explanation, then fine. We’re back to hahahahahhahahhaha and you can go hang out with that 99.9999999999% I was talking about earlier.